what is the reasons for things?

here I am, sitting on the porch. watching the waves crash, the dolphins come for air, and boats going out to see, lighting come and go.
honestly, it gets extremely boring.
I'm freezing my butt off, but I'll freeze my butt of inside too, so wtheck?!
I'm dying for adventure.
I want to try something new.
encounter something that will change my life forever.
I want to stop living in my past.
sitting her with my step grandma, listening to her tell me funny things never gets old though.
I cannot wait until, I get into SECTA, step into my first period class, ad make a new friend.
I want to make a future. I NEED to stop living in my past.
I've done things in my life, that I wish I never did. it's called a regret...and that's life everyone has them.
it doesn't matter if I want my teddy bear back.
that's moved on, it was my fault. I shouldn't have been so stupid, and every night I think about that in inparticualar regret, and wish I hadn't done it.
but I still have my memories.
I miss that teddy bear, dearly.
but things move on, I know I've said the same things over and over again, but I'm just writing things down as they pop into my head.

now, I have nowhere to go but up, the only thing stopping myself is myself.
I need to work on that, I know.
I gas to learn to control my feelings, not to let them get the best of me.

when I think too much, I get sad and depressed
She. who cares, always calls to reasure me that everything will be okay. she stays and talks to me. makes me feel better.
she is what a true friend is. and a hero. I really don't know where i'd be without her....

but right now, I'm on 'vacation' and I have yet to have loads of fun,
I played with Dani, Becca, and the worms,
I've cut myself with a surfboard.
I don't even have Steve anymore! D: (old surfboard)
and I've been thinking way too much.
and I'll never see Tatiana again. :/
ohh, how I will miss her dearly,<33




tell me when this 'vacation' is over.