WHY?!

So, why? that's my only question. *please note: this blog will contains ALL of my thoughts so please don't judge me, and if you have a question, ASK ME! that's all I ask.

So anyways as I was going to say, I have still yet to know why he did that I really don't get it at all. You have yet to give me a answer, I have no idea what I 'roller coaster' means. Well I do, but I don't see how our relationship had one. I guess you could say that I.. I just fell to hard for you, I followed my heart and that took me to the middle of the Sahara Desert. Lost and unable to find your way back home. I don't deserve this. Not again! D: you have completely destroyed me, and you don't even care. thanks! d: I hope you have a good life. cause if you aren't even going to talk to me now, for a reason I don't even know, then go ahead. It is your decision, not mine...

You were the one that I could tell anything to and you wouldn't care. You never cared about the changes I made to myself, as long as I was happy, you were too. Or so I thought. Was I wrong? When I was with you, I couldn't help but smile, I tried to take advantage of the time we shared together, but I always thought it would last longer then what it did. I loved coming out of school knowing that I could just cuddle up in your arms and you would never let go. It was the most amazing-est feeling in the world. I really hate it how, everything I have reminds me of you, my car, my bed, my mirror, my chalk-drawn garage. My writing journal, SPONGEBOB! I haven't been able to watch it since the day before you ended things. When Tatiana turned it on, i had to leave the room. She came over the day after you did it, why don't you ask her how I was doing, I was horrible, every time I turned around there would always be something to remind me of you! I was and still am really unhappy with everything.

I still think, that I can't really trust anyone. It's not even good. :/ Armani, is what I would call my best friend. I can always talk to him about anything, and he will always give me good advice. He is the one I've been talking to about this whole thing, cause I just can't talk to anyone else anymore, about this... D: It's good cause nothings awkward for me and him anymore, my feelings for him in that way are completely gone, and I'm more than happy to say that. He is ALWAYS there when I'm sad, and I could trust him.

Could I call myself happy?! I don't think I can. If you are considering me happy, prepare to be proven wrong. I'm still more upset than I could ever be. Why, you may ask? Well I have no idea why. He is effecting me so badly it makes me want to just leave and never come back. I lost my reason to live. Honestly, I have almost for life. :/

I have so many more things that I would like to say, but its not the world's business, its mine and whoever I choose to tell. :D

sorry for my sorrowful blogs, I don't mean to put you to sleep.